The following is an excerpt from Patti Wilson's column in the Oakville Beaver titled Ask Patti:


Dear Patti:
I have never had a very good relationship with my parents, and since I moved away it has only gotten worse. I have decided to get some counselling, as I realize I just can't solve this one on my own. I have talked to a couple of friends who have seen counsellors or psychiatrists, and I am confused about who to call and how to go about finding the right person to help me. Any suggestions?

Searching

Dear Searching:
I'm glad to hear that you are giving some serious thought to finding the right counsellor for you. You have made an important decision - to get help; and now selecting the right person to get that help from is equally important. As in many areas of specialization, it can be a bit overwhelming trying to figure out "who does what" and what type of service is best suited for your personal needs.

I am often asked what the difference is between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a psychotherapist and a counsellor. A psychiatrist is an M.D. who specializes in psychiatry, and would require a referral from your doctor. Psychiatrists are primarily involved in diagnosing and treating psychiatric disorders, and do not usually do much counselling or psychotherapy. Psychologists hold doctorate degrees in psychology, but are not medical doctors. They often provide counselling in a specialized area, such as child and school psychology.

Psychotherapists and counsellors can have very diverse educational training. People with backgrounds in nursing, education, social work, counselling and psychology all offer various types of counselling services. Furthermore, they may or may not be trained to provide more in-depth psychotherapy. So asking a counsellor about his/her educational background is one helpful way to assess suitability for your particular needs.

To complicate matters even more, you should also consider the counsellor's theoretical approach.

There are many different theories of counselling. Some counsellors employ non-directive, emotion-based style, which is called humanistic or client-centred counselling. Other have a very structured, directive style, and take a rational, analytical approach to problem solving; this is called cognitive-behavioural counselling. Psychodynamic counselling/psychotherapy involves change that is based on insight into conflicts, fears and desires relating to life-long relationship patterns. Many counsellors have training in more than one of these approaches, and offer what is called eclectic counselling. It is a good idea to ask a prospective counsellor about their style of counselling, and how it could be helpful to your particular problem.

Perhaps the most critical factor in finding the right counsellor is "personality fit". It is important to feel really comfortable and to truly trust this person with the intimate details of your life. If you have doubts about this comfort factor, you may want to shop around further and try another counsellor. Ask friends, program contacts, such as your fitness instructor, or professionals such as your doctor, minister or massage therapist for suggestions.

This can be a great way to "network" and find names of counsellors who have been successful in helping someone with needs similar to yours. Many counsellors will spend time answering your questions, and may even offer a free initial consultation to help you decide if this is the right approach for you.

Wilson Counselling Associates 1242 Landfair Crescent Oakville, Ontario L6H 2N3 Telephone:  905-842-8188